Phantom Thread

I tried to, but it seems working can only feel meaningful if it takes on my health
I have to leave some parts of me behind
It may worry me but
I like spitting blood
I like that my knee cracks whenever I go up some stairs
I like to feel on the brink of crying from exhaustion
I like that it may take so much energy to soothe you
And to fear that you might not be safe, and to wish so hard for you to be
I like hurting myself
On my own terms
And I like feeling broken afterwards
This is the easiest pride I can tolerate
There's no balance as long as I'm not reaching for death
Except when you hold me

And that's basically what phantom thread was about